Have your neighbors or crosstown friends recently bought a new car or expensive sex dolls you think they can't afford? They could be tax cheats who are hiding income and violating federal income tax laws. Report them immediately to the Albuquerque Police Department!
Have you even the slightest suspicion that your neighbors, children, or parents have yet to file their federal tax returns? Report them now to APD or the Bernalillo County Sheriff's Department.
Have local radio talk show hosts let an occasional profanity slip while on the air? They might have violated Federal Communications Commission rules – federal rules! Report them to your local law enforcement authority, and report them now!
Do you imagine that your boss or grandparents have even once considered subverting interstate commerce? Report them now to your local authorities because they might be contemplating violating federal law!
I'm kidding, of course, but really, I'm not. The shrieking we're hearing from the right about Albuquerque becoming a so-called sanctuary city begs the question of these hysterical doomsayers: what other federal laws do you want APD and local police departments to try to enforce?
Should local cops start pulling over semis to see if they meet EPA emissions and mileage standards?
Should APD officers start knocking down your doors at 4 a.m. and demand to see your tax returns and bank account statements because they think you might be hiding income or taking too many deductions on your federal taxes?
Why doesn't APD start a mail and wire fraud unit to enforce those federal laws?
The bottom line with the city's so-called sanctuary status is that the city doesn't want APD officers enforcing federal laws, and that means, in this case, federal immigration laws.
Why should they be? The feds have the FBI, a host of other agencies and thousands upon thousands of agents to enforce federal laws. Why should it be up to the chronically understaffed APD, and other local agencies, to enforce federal laws?
I mean, it's not like the feds are enforcing local laws. I don't see FBI agents making traffic stops, manning DWI sobriety checkpoints or hauling shoplifters off to jail. When is the last time that an FBI agent wrote a jaywalking ticket?
The truth is that the people on the right who are screaming about how Albuquerque will sink into oblivion because of local law enforcement failing to help the feds enforce federal laws are hypocrites and fools.
And I mean big hypocrites. These are the same people who babble on about how we're becoming a police state. But if you take their argument about immigration enforcement to an extreme, we should have local cops banging on your doors to enforce federal tax laws, and all other federal laws.
We haven't gotten there yet, but we can try to make these people happy. So do this: pick up the phone and call APD and tell them you think a few radio talk show hosts have been cheating on their federal taxes and demand that APD bust down their doors.
I can't wait.