Ending crime through the Drobik Rule
- If a lot of people are breaking the rules and laws, then the rules and the laws are at fault and must be changed or eliminated.
APD Chief of Police Mike Geier is brilliant! He understands the issues facing this town and he comes up with the answers we have come to expect from our government officials.
Want to stop crime? Use Geier’s “Drobik Rule.”
What’s the Drobik Rule? It’s where if more than one person is violating rules or the laws, then the problem must be with the law the rule. It certainly can’t be with the person who is violating it. If more than one person is violating the rule, Geier says don’t hold any of them accountable. Instead hold the rule itself accountable.
Remember that Mighty Simon is APD's human robot who made $192,000 in 2018 by claiming outrageous amounts of overtime—2,809 hours to be exact. The Civilian Police Oversight Agency investigated Simon and found that in claiming all that OT Simon violated APD's rules at least 51 times. Simon was putting in for Chief's Overtime while he was on call as APD's public information officer. According to the department's rules, officers can
t be on call while working Chief's Overtime.
What did Geier do to Simon? Nothing! Nothing!
Well, because a lot of APD officers have been breaking the same department rule that Simon has ignored and apparently been working Chief's OT while on call. So rather than fire Simon as the CPOA has recommended, and disciplining other APD officers, Geier is attacking the rule. If a lot of people are violating the rule, it must be the rule's fault, and the rule has to be junked and changed.
The Drobik Rule is easy. When you put forth the Drokib Rule you are not expecting accountability from anyone! How great is that? You never have to discipline a friend. Isn’t that sweet?
So how do we fix this? Do nothing to the law/rule breaker, just change the law/rule. Make it legal! Brilliant!
So lets take the Drobik Rule a step further. Auto theft is committed by a lot of people in Albuquerque, therefore the problem must be with the law that makes auto theft illegal. So make it legal and we won’t have any more auto theft.
The same goes for shoplifting. Albuquerque has thousands of criminals shoplifting, but because there are thousands, the problem isn’t with them, it’s with the law governing shoplifting. How can stealing be a crime if so many people are doing it? Decriminalize shoplifting and we won't have to arrest anyone ever again for stealing stuff from stores! And, we'll stop clogging our court system with cases and end the inhumane workload we've put on judges.
And let's not stop at shoplifting. Assault, rape, murder—lots of people do those. Under Geier's logic, the laws making those actions crimes are at fault, not the offenders. And, let's be honest. People who whine that their cars have been stolen, homes burglarized and relatives shot and murdered are just that, whiners.
And they're stunningly and sickeningly insensitive to the fact that it's these oppressive, hateful and discriminatory laws that are the problem, not the murderers, thieves and rapists. How dare we criminalize behavior that lots of our fellow citizens like to engage in. I'm beginning to think that anyone who reports that a relative has been raped or murdered is a Trump supporter.
Use Geier’s Drobik Rule on everything! Albuquerque crime stats will disappear because there will be no crime!
This brilliance of the Drobik Rule (which was endorsed by the editors at the Albuquerque Journal) was brought to you by the same chief of police who didn’t believe that blood in a 7-year-old girl's underwear was evidence of a crime or a health issue! According to Geier, if you don’t admit it’s a crime, then you don’t have a crime!
We all want a crime free and happy city where our jails are empty, judges don't have to do anything and cops can take morning jogs with recruits instead of having to respond to calls from whinny residents. Applying the Drobik Rule to everything in this city will free us all to be happy and fulfilled.
So good citizens, close your eyes and visualize what this city will be like in another year with Geier, Drobik and Mayor Tim Keller leading the way!
Believe it because it's coming.