How stupid can you be? Keller and Medina show us.
Let's be honest. Human beings can be really stupid. We often do incredibly idiotic and embarrassing things.
We go into debt buying things we don't need, vote for lying politicians and ingest drugs and booze till we get sick. Every day thousands of stupid, brain-dead corporate managers tell their employees that there is no “I” in team. Grown men wear spandex, and bearded men and women actually listen to, and think they like, folk music.
Stupidity is rampant and there has been no limit to just how stupid humans can be.
Until now. Weepy Mayor Timmy Keller and his new chief of police, crybaby Harold Medina, have reached the greatest heights of stupidity that humans have ever achieved, and no stupidity for the rest of human existence will ever be stupider or more embarrassing.
Mayor Weepy and the Crybaby have figured out how to purify the Albuquerque Police Department of the mold, rot, favoritism, managerial corruption and incompetence, and low morale that has infected it for the past 10 years. And they've finally figured out how to get all the murderers, rapists, fiends, carjackers, burglars, thieves, dopers and shoe-sniffers to stop committing crimes and ruining our lives.
How will APD be instantly transformed into the world's fairest and most professionally run police department?
By letting cops wear football jerseys.
That's right. Mayor Weepy and the Crybaby will magically turn APD and the city around by letting cops wear football jerseys. On Oct. 2, the Crybaby issued what has to be the stupidest and most idiotic order ever in the history of any troubled and beleaguered police department. Here's what the genius Crybaby said:
“Effectively immediately, all plainclothes/civilians sworn personnel are authorized to wear football apparel on Friday of every week, during the football season. Personnel will ensure that their apparels are professional and do not represent the City of Albuquerque or the Albuquerque Police Department in a negative fashion.”
There it is. Two sentences—47 words—will solve all of APD's and the city's crime, morale, staffing and corruption problems now and forever.
Do any of you honestly believe that letting APD detectives and civilian employees wear football attire on Fridays is going to make the department a better place to work? Is letting detectives wear football jerseys on Fridays going to cause thousands of the brightest and best cops from around the country to apply to work at the understaffed APD?
Will it immediately end the overtime abuse that has been going on at APD for almost ever? Will it cause the state auditor and attorney general to call off their investigations into the department's overtime abuse? Will it suddenly demolish the cliquishness in the department that lets the in-crowd and friends of the chief get away unpunished with breaking the rules that others are reprimanded and punished for violating?
Will it cause the honest cops who hate the favoritism and managerial corruption to forget all about it and shout, “Good has won! Evil and corruption have been vanquished because some of us can now wear football garb on Fridays!”
And will it cause you, the taxpayers who pay for all of this nonsense, to shout mightily and gratefully, “Unlock the doors, open the windows and leave the keys in the ignition! We are saved. Bless Timmy Keller and Harold Medina!”
Let's hope not.
If your home has been burglarized, car stolen, or if you've been raped, would you feel comfortable with an APD detective showing up to your house wearing a football jersey? Do you think a football jersey will make them better detectives and more capable of catching the thugs who stole your stuff?
Medina's order is stunningly stupid because it's meaningless, worthless fluff that won't do a damn thing to make APD a better police department and Albuquerque a safer city. And we know from the statements of ousted APD Chief Mike Geier that Medina, or any other police chief, can't do anything without Keller's approval. So this stupid order is Timmy's.
If the Weeper and the Crybaby really want to change APD for the better they'd announce an immediate end to overtime pay padding, that anyone, including the chief's pals, who violates the department's rules and regulations will be punished according to the rules, that fools, liars and scammers won't be tolerated, and that honesty, innovation and good, solid, hard work will be rewarded.
But the two fools won't do that. Instead, they'll rely on your willingness to accept their stupidity, dishonesty and mediocrity.