Tax us Trudy, tax us Ken, tax us more again and again! More taxes!

There are some – the usual negative and hyper-angry people – out there who are denouncing our brilliant and valiant city councilors, Ken Sanchez and Trudy Jones, for wanting to save our fair city by increasing the gross receipts tax by three-eights-of-a-cent, or $55 million a year.

They're once again dragging out their worn and tired, and oh so trite, arguments that Brave Trudy and Fearless Ken, and the other councilors, have wasted our money over the past eight years by approving the Albuquerque Rapid Transit project and letting the police department go to hell.

Well, they're full of Sh*t!

We need more taxes, not fewer taxes! Government must expand! We should raise the GRT by at least a cent, hike the gas tax and tax everything else that moves in this city.

Our motto should be “More taxes!”, and it should be screamed and shouted from every throat, every second of every day of every hour of every year.

“More taxes!”

And we should all recite this beautiful tribute to Trudy and Ken every day of every day of every year:

Tax us, Trudy, tax us Ken,

tax us more again and again.

Tax us every day and year,

tax our air and tax our beer.

Tax the very tears we cry,

tax us 'till the day we die.

Tax us 'till we're broke and dead,

tax our stale, moldy bread.

Tax our shoes and tax our toes,

tax the boogers in our nose.

Tax the very words we shout,

tax us 'till we're all taxed out.

Taxes are the price we pay,

to have you lie to us each day.

Take our money, suck our blood,

throw us face-down in the mud.

Tax our children, tax our homes,

tax our dead and brittle bones.

Our wages aren't ours to keep,

because we are your mindless sheep.

Oh tax us Trudy and tax us Ken,

Let's pray those taxes never end.

Let's go through the BS that the tax haters are already spewing and correct them.

1. Gross receipts taxes are regressive and disproportionately affect the poor.

This is pure garbage. Poor people don't pay a lot in GRT taxes because they don't spend a lot. How can they pay GRT taxes when they don't have any money to spend?

And let's be honest here. Poor people don't pay their fair share of sales taxes. Why? Because they buy cheap, inexpensive goods. If a poor person buys a $20 jacket, they're only paying $1.50 tax on it. But if a wealthy person buys a $100 jacket, they're paying $7.50 in taxes.

The GRT disproportionately affects wealthier people because they buy more expensive stuff.

2. The city, with the approval of the City Council, wasted $75 million on the ART project by spending money saved from unfilled positions at City Hall, including the Albuquerque Police Department, on the project.

More BS! How was that money wasted? It went to contractors. Good for them! Good for Albuquerque!

3. The city is throwing good money after bad money on the ART project because federal statistics show that bus ridership has fallen by 25 percent in the past five years. We're wasting money by spending it on a mode of transportation that the public is abandoning.

Hyper-BS! People who don't ride public transportation are polluting, Earth-destroying pigs who don't know what's good for them. Ken and Trudy know what's best for them, and so do the other councilors. And what's best for them is that they will be forced to rid the buses whether they like it or not.

And don't spew this hateful bile that neither nor Ken, nor the mayor, nor any other councilors take buses to work. They don't have to because they're better and smarter than we are. They deserve comfortable SUVs and we deserve crowded buses.

4. The city has saved tens of millions of dollars over the years by not filling up to 250 police officer positions a year at APD. Up until three years ago, APD was budgeted for 1,100 officers, and for the past three years for 1,000 cops. But because the city could never fill all those positions all that saved money was spent and wasted on other things.

So what?! The council and the mayor have the right to waste our money. It's none of our business what they do with it.

Remember:

Tax us Trudy and tax us Ken,

our money is there for you to spend.